I recently learned from Reddit that there's an 11-year-old on the New York subway that sells emotional advice for two bucks a pop. No lemonade stand for this kid. It's a pretty interesting business prospect. Emotional advice from a ball of hormones, angst, and ironic Wicca worship. Who wouldn't pay $2 for that? Sure beats your mental health co-pay.
A long time ago, in a kitchen far, far away... Actually, it was five years ago, and the kitchen was in my old house, about two miles from where I'm sitting now. Yeah. I've really gone places. All I had to accomplish was one phone call. My daughter, S, was sick. Who knows what she had, but I had a newborn, a sick kid, and an addled brain that had been ravaged by a constant barrage of Disney and unanswerable questions. (People think Mommy Brain is hormonal, but have you ever considered the collective brilliance that would come from the world's population of moms if they no longer had to come up with intelligent answers to "What color is a princess's fart?")
Everyone is looking for advice these days, and who better to ask than a 5-year-old boy. I sat down with my son to get the answers to some of life's most serious questions.
OK, so my last post on this topic was pretty funny. But since my kids keeping saying stuff, I thought I'd share a few more gems with you. I've been saving these up for a while! You know there's gonna be one where they embarrass me at Target: Stephanie (Cashier at Target): So you guys … Continue reading More Stuff My Kids Say
My book is done! Halleluia! Pack up the babies and a nice bottle of the fizzy stuff. We’re going to Disney World, folks! OK, maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself. I ought to work on getting it published first, don’t you think? So for the last two weeks or so, I’ve been sewing … Continue reading Dear Agent: A Limerick