Monthly Archives: December 2015

My New Year’s Resolutions

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It’s that time of year again! After a long holiday season of celebrations and indulging in way too much good food and libations, we take down the tree, pack up the decorations, and spend a week checking the dog’s poop for that roll of tape we lost on Christmas Eve.

Oh, and resolutions! I’m pretty inconsistent with the making of the resolutions part. Some years, I don’t make any at all. Some years, I forget about it until mid-January and then write down a token list of ideas just so I can say I did it. But the keeping part of it-for that I’m nothing if not consistent. You could set your watch by me. I have never kept a resolution past March in my life.

But you never know. This could be my year! Just in case, I’ve written a few goals for me to keep or not keep.

  1. Continue filling the blogosphere with witty banter every week. (Because I know you all couldn’t live without me!)
  2. Finally figure out the lyrics to Smells Like Teen Spirit.
  3. Learn to speak Korean so I’ll know if the ladies at the nail salon are gossiping about me and my grossly-calloused feet.
  4. When people look at my family in shock and ask if I’m planning to have more children, come up with a more polite answer than, “Is your mom going to have any more children?”
  5. Speaking of which, I think my next goal should be: Do not give birth to any new children this year. (I know what you’re thinking! If I can just keep myself un-pregnant until April, this goal should be in the bag. But I’d like to think of myself as somewhat of an over-achiever in this category. Why don’t we stretch the un-pregnancy out a little more?)
  6. Create more opportunities to shout “Boo yah!” during arguments.
  7. Spend way less time cleaning up other people’s poop. Amiright, ladies?
  8. Convince Donald Trump that he’s desperately needed to lead the first human colony on Mars. (You’re welcome, Earth!)

 

OK, it’s possible that at least one of those goals may be unachievable by me alone. I mean, what mother of 4 has time to study a new language?

Do you have any resolutions for the new year? I’d love to hear from you!

Writing Quote Tuesday

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The girls and I just started Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and we love it! Pretty sure we’re going to finish the book. 😉

 

“I don’t care if a reader hates one of my stories, just as long as he finishes the book.”
—Roald Dahl

Writing Quote Tuesday

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Emma is learning “show don’t tell” in school. I think I’ll give her a prettier example. 😉

 

“If you tell the reader that Bull Beezley is a brutal-faced, loose-lipped bully, with snake’s blood in his veins, the reader’s reaction may be, ‘Oh, yeah!’ But if you show the reader Bull Beezley raking the bloodied flanks of his weary, sweat-encrusted pony, and flogging the tottering, red-eyed animal with a quirt, or have him booting in the protruding ribs of a starved mongrel and, boy, the reader believes!”
—Fred East

The 10 Best Books I Read in 2015

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I’ve been lucky enough to get in quite a bit of reading time this year. Many of the books I’ve read were good, but here are my ten favorites. These are in no particular order:

  1. Big Little Lies, by Lianne Moriarty. If you haven’t read any of Lianne’s novels yet, do yourself a favor and go out and buy all of them. She’s great. This book is set in Australia, and you can really hear the voices come through as if you were listening to your captivating Aussie best friend tell you a story you are just. Not. Gonna. Believe.
  2. Necessary Lies, by Diane Chamberlain. It’s a story about an early social worker in the rural south. Ummm…this former-social-worker-turned-writer-of-southern-fiction is sold! It’s authentic and well-researched, and if you didn’t know that the US used to have a eugenics program in which poor people were forced to undergo sterilization surgery, you really need to read this book.
  3. The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry, by Gabrielle Zevin. This book is as charming as it’s title character, who despite his best efforts, manages to touch the lives of so many people in a remarkable way.
  4. Whistling Past the Graveyard, by Susan Crandall. I read that the author had never written in Southern dialect before this book, but I simply do not believe it. You will swear you’re in 1963 Mississippi listening to the locals speak.
  5. The Husband’s Secret, by Lianne Moriarty. I only discovered this author this year, and since I loved her so much, I read three of her books in a row. The only reason I haven’t included What Alice Forgot on this list is because I’m afraid you’ll think I don’t read anything else. Seriously, she’s great.
  6. The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving, by Jonathan Evison. This story is heartbreaking and triumphant all at once. I cried so much reading it, but still walked away from it feeling good about the world. Plus, one of the main characters has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, as does my brother. It was kind of creepy and surreal to see Evison bring that disease to life in such an accurate way.
  7. The Hurricane Sisters, by Dorothea Benton Frank. I read this book on my vacation this summer at Rehoboth Beach. As luck would have it, the author was at the local book store, Browseabout Books, doing a signing. I walked past that book store every day I was there, but I didn’t notice the sign announcing her event until about an hour after it was over. Arg! Crummy luck. It was still a great beach read, though.
  8. The Island, by Elin Hilderbrand. Now this author I DID get to see in Rehoboth Beach. I love that the book store there hosts so many author signings. Elin was super sweet, and totally in love with my little Gianni. Her book was wonderful too. A nice light read to snuggle up with.
  9. Child’s Mind: Mindfulness Practices to Help Our Children Be More Focused, Calm, and Relaxed, by Christopher Willard. I read this book for tools to help my AD/HD daughter relax and focus, and it is helping me tremendously too!
  10. How the Grinch Stole Christmas, by Dr. Seuss. This classic is still one of my favorite children’s books of all time, and since Raymond is currently obsessed with it, I’ve read it a bazillion times recently. And you know what? I still cry when the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes.

What have you read and loved this year? I’d love to hear from you!

Dear Agent: A Limerick

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My book is done! Halleluia! Pack up the babies and a nice bottle of the fizzy stuff. We’re going to Disney World, folks!

OK, maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself. I ought to work on getting it published first, don’t you think? So for the last two weeks or so, I’ve been sewing wool yarn through my eyeballs working on my query letter.

Since the real one is driving me bonkers, I thought I might have a little fun with a limerick. What do you think? I’m expecting a ton of full requests. 😉

Dear agents of best-selling writers,
The publishing world’s insiders,
I’ve written a book.
Won’t you take a look?
I’ve heard you like being inspired.

It’s got everything you could want,
Even vampire debutantes.
And I think you’ll agree,
The world needs to see
A new Odyssey set in Vermont.

My protagonist is quite unique.
She collects chewed up gum and antiques.
But by night she moonlights
As a feminine Knight,
Who battles in high heels (I think).

My friends all think that it’s great
Right up to page four thousand eight.
So if you want to get rich
Just sell me your pitch
To represent me. I’m really first rate.

So hop to it and try to call dibs.
Books like this don’t last long in this biz.
Good luck to you all!
I’ll wait for your call.
Sincerely, Where The Heart Is

Writing Quote Tuesday

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So true! (It’s kind of fun too, though. Right?)

 

“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.”
—George Orwell