I recently read something that said that only 28% of parents have their kids do chores, and I absolutely don't believe it. I can't be the only "mean mom" who assigns chores to children, can I? I asked Twitter to weigh in so we could find out. Here's what they said. [Spoiler Alert: Lots of kids do chores!]
As moms, we all have our reasons that we drink. Some are big. Some are small. Some are shrunken versions of ourselves with the balance and social skills we can only find at the bottom of a wine bottle. Yes, it's true that I'm #rockingmotherhood most of the time, but sometimes at the end of the day, I just gotta have that glass of red zin. Several weeks ago, I wrote a list of 13 reasons that Mommy Needs Wine. Now I'm back with 13 more, and I've printed them out and stuck them to some wine bottles.
You might remember, a few weeks ago I posted a heartfelt letter to my daughters with a list of life lessons I hoped they'd learn before middle school. I got such a positive response to that article! So many moms told me they hoped the same things for their girls, and many said they would share my letter with their own children. I can't describe how much that touched my heart. As I said to some of my commenters, that may be the best compliment I've ever received on my writing.
It is possible that my consummate, unadulterated, and downright child-like passion for all things Christmas and magical may be coming back to bite me. You see, I have a bit of a--let's say "feverish obsession" with convincing my kids of the existence of magic. As you may recall, I am a bit infatuated with Christmas and Santa Clause. In my house, Santa brings the presents on Christmas. He has magical elves who watch over my children all year and report to Santa on their behavior. Sometimes the elves leave letters for the kids, or inadvertently tip something over, leaving evidence that they've been there.
Dear Lord, as I gaze upon the calm and peaceful countenance of my sleeping child, I am filled with a love so great, that I am certain my body can't hold it. And then the love continues to grow, and I am amazed that You've given me a heart capable of holding something larger than the encapsulated sum of everything.
How in the world am I supposed to teach them All The Things? There are so many Things. There's chemistry and ancient history. World geography. The Civil War. Classic literature. Human body systems. The water cycle. And math! I am terrible at math! By now you might be thinking, "OK, Nicole. If you're so convinced that you'd make a terrible homeschooler, why the heck did you decide to homeschool?" Fair question. Let me explain.
If you are expecting your first baby, congratulations! You are about to embark on the most awesome, emotionally overwhelming, and piss-your-pants surprising journey of your life. (Literally. You will most likely piss your pants at least once. I hope you've been doing your kegels.) It may sound like I'm trying to discourage you. (Too … Continue reading Pocket-Sized Terrors: How your new baby will scare the living s*!@ out of you
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