‘Til the Shoutin’s Over and They Gather up the Singin’ Books: Writing in Character Voice

I like to write my novels in first person character voice. (Some people call it writing in dialect.) I do it for a few reasons. One, I enjoy reading novels written this way. Two, I think I’m pretty good at it. And three, I absolutely LOVE distinctive human voices, particularly those of the American South.

Writing this way is a challenge. For one thing, I haven’t been to all the places that I’ve set stories in. Right now, I’m writing a novel called Freedom City set in the Ozark Mountains region of Arkansas. Most of my characters are not from the Ozarks. They’re transplants from other parts of the south.

But one character, Pearly, is a ninety-five year old great-grandmother, born and raised in the Ozarks. She’s not the protagonist, but she’s an important character with several point of view chapters. And I (confession!) have never been to the Ozarks.

So what does a novelist such as myself do? I can’t afford to take time off from my life and spend a month with the Arkansas hill folk. And I don’t know anyone from that part of the country with whom I can just sit and have regular conversations, or eavesdrop on. (Incidentally, eavesdropping and conversating are ordinarily my two best tools in learning how to write like others speak.) My soon-to-be brother-in-law is from Missouri, which also encompasses a large portion of the Ozarks, but the one time I tried to get him to spend the day talking like a backwoods hillman, he kept coming back to his regular speaking voice. (What’s up with that, Ryan? ;))

The answer, for me anyway, is read, read, READ! I’ve read every novel set in the Ozarks that I can find. Unfortunately, there aren’t many of these. The only one that I actually enjoyed was Winter’s Bone by Daniel Woodrell. (Read it if you can stomach a lot of darkness and violence.) I also checked out all of the Arkansas travel books owned by my local library. (If you’re wondering, that’s one. One Arkansas travel book in the whole library. Alabama had like five. Don’t people travel to Arkansas?)

So, imagine my delight when I came across this hunk of pure Ozarkian gold.

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The book is Down in the Holler: A Gallery of Ozark Folk Speech, by Vance Randolph. This thing’s got chapters like, “Backwoods Grammar,” “Ozark Pronunciation,” “Unusual Words and Meanings,” “Sayings and Wisecracks,” and lots more. I’m telling you, if there were a college course called Ozarkian English 101, this would be the text book. (Can you tell I’m excited to find this book?)

Randolph was not the leading expert on Ozark language and culture, I’m pretty sure he was the only expert. He spent decades living in the hill country, traveling all over the various towns in both Arkansas and Missouri, and just learning about the people. Then he wrote lots of books. I’ve already read his book, Ozark Superstitions (which is available for free download here), so I suppose I should’ve thought to look for this one sooner. But holy cow, it’s good stuff.

And here’s why writing in character voice is so tough. Aside from learning how the people in your novel’s little part of the world might talk, you must also find a way to convey their speech in writing, making it sound as authentic as possible, but without getting so dialecty that people can’t read it. (Or worse, they can read it, but they can tell you’re trying too hard, and it’s pulling them out of the story.)

This is my biggest problem with Pearly. According to Randolph, Ozarkers mix up their vowel sounds and their subject-verb agreement. And they use a vocabulary not likely to be found in most of the rest of the country. (Have you ever heard of a gollywhopper? A goose drownder? A goozle? What about government socks? These are just some of the G’s!)

In other words. I. Love. How these people. Talk. And I’m going to have sooo much fun writing my character.

So here’s a snippet of my first attempt at one of Pearly’s chapters, written in (hopefully believable) Ozark voice. What do you think?

Christine an’ her husband thinks I’m here fer me. Thinks I’m a-ridin’ along. Lettin’ my grand-youngin’ take care of her helpless, susy Nanny, who don’t talk none. Who can’t do nothin’ to feed herself vittles or wipe her own behind.

An’ let me ask you. When’s the last time you seen me a-needin’ my behind wiped? Christine and that man can’t seem to remember that. But I was nary a baby the last time mammy took a towel to my butt, an’ I ain’t needed no help with it since.

Let them thinks it. I gots better things to worry me anymore.

Like a-gettin’ this paw paw spread out an’ around. I sprinkles the grinded-up root around up over the perimeter of our property. I wants to lay out broomsticks too, but Christine might would pick them up when she sees. Clay might could miss them. Might could trip. Wouldn’t that be an awful shame? If only I could know fer sure he’d be the fist one out’n the house.

Fer now the paw paw’ll have to do. That an’ the crosses. I scratches them in over the dirt around about the property, an’ hangs some real ones from up there on the tree an’ bushes. I skips the branch a-stretchin’ up on over Chrisine’s Jesus. He can fend for hisself.

It’s a first draft, but I like it so far. (OK, I’ve been over it more than once. I’d NEVER show you a real first draft.) Bear in mind, Pearly only has about seven or eight chapters in the book, so most of it isn’t this thick. I’m hoping it’s just enough.

Do you have any ideas for improving dialect in your writing? Please let me know in the comments section below. I LOVE hearing from you!

I’m a big, blubbering, scaredy-cat baby…and my kids are getting there.

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With Halloween approaching, I thought it a good time to explore the subject of fear. As in, that immobilizing tightness I get in my chest in response to completely rational, empirically terrifying things, like the porch light coming on.

My oh-so-patient husband (who will be fitted for his shining armor on our next anniversary), valiantly checks all the doors and windows for me whenever something spooks me. (Did you see those headlights outside? I swear someone stopped their car in our driveway. Who would do that at eleven o’clock? And why are they playing music? That sounds like axe murderer music, honey. Don’t you hear that?)

And if he’s out of town, forget me sleeping. I usually don’t go upstairs until at least 1 AM, because, well, upstairs (where I have responsibly tucked my children in for the night) is way scarier than downstairs. And before I finally DO climb into my bed, I check underneath, I check all the closets, the kids’ rooms, and the bathrooms. (Not just behind the shower curtain but under the sink too. You know a psychopath could fit in there if he moved my Comet and Charmin around.)

So yes. I’m a big baby. But let me explain how I got this way. First of all, this is my dad.

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You try growing up with that and see if you turn out normal. He doesn’t need to even open his mouth to be menacing. When I was growing up, he liked to torture me and my siblings by scaring the living bejeezus out of us. Example. He used to lie down on the couch and say, “I’m going to take a little nap. Just wake me up if I turn into a monster.” He’d lie there, fake-sleeping for a minute, then suddenly pop up with one eye open and his face contorted into this grotesque expression that could only belong to the living dead.

“Oh, that’s not so scary,” you say. “Quit being a baby and grow up!”

I was starting you off easy. He also had this witch mask that he kept in the attic…most of the time. I don’t remember the exact details of this mask’s appearance. I think it’s mutated in my memory a bit, but here’s the description to the best of my ability. It had green, frizzy, goat-like hair that stuck out from its head in chunks. Wrinkly, sagging skin that I’m pretty sure he melted off a burn victim. A long, big-nostriled nose complete with warts. And the wide, tiny-pupilled eyes normally reserved for serial killers and possessed people.

I didn’t like this mask.

Every once in a while-not often, but only once it had been long enough that I’d almost forgotten the last time and begun to feel safe again-he’d pull out the mask. He wouldn’t just come out and scare me with it like a (partially) normal person. He’d go outside and wait for my attention to get absorbed in something innocent, like a book or a tv show. Then, with the mask on, he’d lightly tap the window. The sound could’ve been nothing. Maybe the wind blowing a tree branch. A small animal, perhaps. If I didn’t notice, he’d tap again. Not louder. Still the same, quiet, innocent sound that could’ve been anything, so that when I turned to see “What is that behind me?”, well, you can guess the reaction.

It isn’t entirely his fault that he’s this way. In the Renzi family (my dad’s side) scaring your children is a beloved pastime. I think it may have started with my grandfather. He would dress up like a ghost and terrify my aunts and uncles (and presumably my dad, though I’ve never heard him admit to this).

One of my aunts has been known to hide under her kids’ beds, waiting as long as it took for them to come in and start getting into their pajamas so she could reach out a hand and grab their ankles. My cousins used to go to bed at night begging, “Mom, please don’t scare us tonight.”

My uncle tells the scariest stories I’ve ever heard at a campfire. At our last family camping trip, he had my daughter Emma shouting, “Bad! Bad! I don’t LIKE that story! Stop! You have to stop!” until I carried her out of earshot and reassured her that no bad bears were going to eat her.

But poor Emma. And Sophia and Raymond. Because their mom is a Renzi too.

I do the same, “Wake me up if I turn into a monster” bit that my dad did to me. Plus so, so much more. When Emma and Sophia were toddlers, they were really scared of the Grinch, particularly the song from the cartoon movie. So I sang it. Often. And in a deep, throaty voice that gets them jumping even if I’m saying “I love you” with it.

I’ve been known to put on a dead-eyed, slack-jawed face and amble toward them, arms immobile at my sides, emitting a low groan like a zombie who would love to feast on their brains. And since they’ve gotten into Star Wars, I’ve used this opportunity to impersonate Darth Vader’s loud breathing as I march purposefully toward them. I even downloaded the Imperial March for background music.

My mom shakes her head. “You’re such a Renzi!”

My husband shakes his head. “I hope it’s cozy in Hell!”

And Emma, Sophia, and Raymond? Well, they don’t know it yet, but they’re taking down ideas for terrifying their own kids someday.

Songs That Bug Me

Does anyone else get annoyed when song lyrics don’t make sense?

I love music. So many different styles of music. When it’s a good song, I feel it. Especially when the melody and lyrics come together in perfect compliment, so you can’t help but go, daaaamn. I know exactly what she means! Sing it, girl! My new favorite single is Royals by Lorde. Try listening to that without moving your body.

But seriously. Some of these songs make me wonder if pop stars learn the same English language as the rest of us. Now before you crucify reprimand me for being anti-art (Grammar nazi! It’s a song, not a college essay!), let me say I’m all for artistic expression. I’m always manipulating language to fit my style and voice. I’ve got ten sentence fragments in this blog post alone. (Bragging rights if you can find them all.)

I’m not talking about grammar. Or punctuation. I’m talking about illogical lyrics. Take Cheap Trick’s “The Flame,” for example.

Remember, after the fire, after all the rain,

I will be the flame.

I will be the flaaaaaame!

Is that supposed to be comforting? Why would I want you to be a flame after I just survived a fire? I know it’s supposed to be a metaphor for something, but what?

And how about One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful”? (I know, I know. No fair using a boy band. Too easy. But this one really bugs me.)

Baby you light up my world like nobody else.

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.

But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell-

You don’t know-ow-ow,

You don’t know you’re beautiful.

Oh-oh-oh,

That’s what makes you beautiful!

So many issues with this one. Where do I begin? First of all, I know teenage boys aren’t exactly experts on feminine body language, but do you seriously not know that when girls flip their hair or smile at the ground it means they’re flirting? And they don’t even go together. Hair flipping says, “Look at me! I’ve got great hair and I want you to notice me!” And smiling at the ground means, “I want to look coy, but I know that you know that I know you like me.”

But set these guys’ lack of knowledge about girls aside. I suppose I can forgive them for that. What is up with the end of the song? You don’t know you’re beautiful. That’s what makes you beautiful. So low self-esteem is the big turn-on, huh? If that’s the case, why did you just spend three minutes trying to convince her that she’s beautiful? Now that you’ve told her she’s beautiful, does she know it? And if so, does that make her no longer beautiful?

And while we’re on the subject of boy bands, what about “Quit Playing Games with My Heart” by the Backstreet Boys?

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time,

Impossible as it may seem.

So what is it you’re referring to when you say that “it” seems impossible? You probably think it’s turning back time, but to me it sounds like you’re saying the fact that you wish you could turn back time seems impossible. OK. Maybe if I knew you better, and you were the type of guy who never wishes for such things, then I’d think that seemed impossible. But you’d be playing to a pretty small audience there.

But even if I accept that you mean it seems impossible that you could turn back time, it still makes no sense. That doesn’t seem impossible. It is impossible.

And Carly Simon, you’re not getting off here. What’s up with “You’re So Vain”?

You’re so vain.

I bet you think this song is about you.

Hello! This song is about him! You just said like a hundred and ten things about him! Were those just minor points that didn’t speak to your true theme?

Anyway. Sorry to be such a crank this afternoon. I have a cold. When my head clears up I’ll go back to writing about my novels and goofy stuff my kids say.

Are there any songs that bug you because the lyrics are illogical? Let me know in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you!