More Stuff My Kids Say

OK, so my last post on this topic was pretty funny. But since my kids keeping saying stuff, I thought I’d share a few more gems with you. I’ve been saving these up for a while!

You know there’s gonna be one where they embarrass me at Target:

Stephanie (Cashier at Target): So you guys out shopping with Mommy today?

Raymond: Yeah, we need some cream for my bottom. (Pulls down pants, turns around, and bends over.) Because I got a rash!

 

I really have no idea what this means:

“Have you ever used your eyes as lights, and then when you wanted to put down the lights, you took your eyeballs out and put them on the floor?”

-Emma, at 5 years old

“If you have a huge dinosaur inside your body, and you take it out of your body, then you know what you can do? Kill all the demons!”

-Raymond, at 3 years old

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?

Me: Sophia, would you like some milk?

Sophia: I’m Mommy.

Me: OK. Mommy, would you like some milk?

Sophia: No. I only drink coffee and diet coke.

We’ll file this under “Ways to creep Mommy out”

Emma (at 4 years old): Mommy, what are those white things with no faces called?

Me: What white things?

Emma: They’re white and they have no faces, or skin, or hair, or arms, or legs, or feet.

Me: Where did you see them?

Emma: They’re flying around our house.

Me: I have no idea.

Umm…so sweet?

“Mom, I think I still love you.”

-Raymond, at 4-years-old

 I wish!

Sophia (at 3 years old): Mommy, can we go to Kateri’s pool tomorrow morning?

Me: No, Honey. It’s winter. The pool’s closed.

Sophia: No, I said tomorrow morning.

Me: Tomorrow morning will still be winter.

Sophia: Oh…(brief pause)…Is the beach closed in winter?

Probably true, honey. 

“Mom, maybe if you didn’t have so many kids, you wouldn’t lose your brains.”

Emma, at 6 years old 

Under-Celebrated Milestones

If you’re anything like me, when your kids were little, you pored over all those child development books searching for signs that your baby was “advanced.”

“Did you hear that? She just said, ‘Ba ba ba!’ That’s a consonant sound! She’s making consonant sounds at five months and eighteen days and she’s not supposed to do that until she’s six months! She’s going to be President!” Continue reading