where the heart is

What Was Your Most Hilarious Parenting Fail? 13 Parent Bloggers Share

If you’ve been following my blog regularly, you’ve already heard about some of my parenting fails. It’s really hard for me to choose which was the biggest, or most hilarious, though. Was it the time that I called my pediatrician’s office and insisted that my daughter was born on my dog’s birthday? The time I drove my kids home to the wrong house? Or got lost on the way to their school? What about the time that I woke up in the middle of the night, tore the sheets and blankets from my bed, and screamed at my husband that we had to find the baby…who was sound asleep in her crib? (And now you know why I drink.)

It’s really hard to choose! But since I’ve had so much fun writing about them, I asked some of my blogger friends to share their most hilarious parenting fails with me.

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Working from Home…With Children! 26 Parents Share Their Best Tips

Today is my birthday! Yippee! I’m not going to tell you my age, but I WILL tell you what my wonderful husband is getting me. A WHOLE DAY to myself! That’s right. I’m taking my Mac Book to Starbucks, and I’ll be writing, reading, or Facebooking ALL DAY! 

If you’re a work-at-home-mom, I don’t need to tell you how valuable this is. Working from home with kids around is hard, especially in the summer time when there’s no school to dump them off on. 

How to Fold a Shirt, in 13 Easy Steps

I bet you thought you already knew how to fold a shirt. I did too! It wasn’t until I assigned the task to my 8-year-old that I learned I’d been doing it ALL WRONG. You see, I’d thought the thing to do to get the task going was to, you know, pick up a shirt. (Or something along those lines. I’m still working it out in my head.)

But no. As I learned today, there are many, many more steps involved before any part of your human flesh can actually touch the laundry. 

So, here they are, the 13 steps to folding a shirt, according to my 8-year-old daughter:

1. Girls can pee outside too. 2. Don't ignore your vagina. 3. Your princess ambitions are fine with me. 4. Your friend's parents don't let them stay up until midnight, and even if they did, I wouldn't care. 5. When kids turn 11 or 12, they usually go insane. This too shall pass. (Read more.)

Girls Can Pee Outside Too, and 13 Other Things I Want My Daughters to Know

2. Don’t ignore your vagina. Sorry girls. I know you find this topic painfully humiliating, but it has to be said. (Aren’t you glad I did this in writing?) Right around puberty, you’ll start to notice some goopy stuff coming out of your vajayjay on a regular basis. This is totally normal and nothing to worry about. But if it itches, turns red, or starts to smell weird, you need to see a doctor. Vaginas are tough little mofos, but the tiniest little upset in bacteria or ph balance can cause some serious discomfort. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t suffer through it because you don’t want to tell me that your lady bits hurt. It’s not worth it. Trust me.