I recently learned from Reddit that there’s an 11-year-old on the New York subway that sells emotional advice for two bucks a pop. No lemonade stand for this kid.
It’s a pretty interesting business prospect. Emotional advice from a ball of hormones, angst, and ironic Wicca worship. Who wouldn’t pay $2 for that? Sure beats your mental health co-pay.
A long time ago, in a kitchen far, far away…
Actually, it was five years ago, and the kitchen was in my old house, about two miles from where I’m sitting now. Yeah. I’ve really gone places.
All I had to accomplish was one phone call. My daughter, S, was sick. Who knows what she had, but I had a newborn, a sick kid, and an addled brain that had been ravaged by a constant barrage of Disney and unanswerable questions. (People think Mommy Brain is hormonal, but have you ever considered the collective brilliance that would come from the world’s population of moms if they no longer had to come up with intelligent answers to “What color is a princess’s fart?”)
Everyone is looking for advice these days, and who better to ask than a 5-year-old boy. I sat down with my son to get the answers to some of life’s most serious questions.
It is possible that my consummate, unadulterated, and downright child-like passion for all things Christmas and magical may be coming back to bite me. You see, I have a bit of a–let’s say “feverish obsession” with convincing my kids of the existence of magic.
As you may recall, I am a bit infatuated with Christmas and Santa Clause. In my house, Santa brings the presents on Christmas. He has magical elves who watch over my children all year and report to Santa on their behavior. Sometimes the elves leave letters for the kids, or inadvertently tip something over, leaving evidence that they’ve been there.
For grown-ups it’s really quite easy: Give the toothpaste tube a light squeezy. Load the brush with paste, scrub your
If you are expecting your first baby, congratulations! You are about to embark on the most awesome, emotionally overwhelming,
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This morning, Raymond got in major trouble for climbing on Gianni’s crib (which he has been warned about 1000