Dear Agent: A Limerick

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My book is done! Halleluia! Pack up the babies and a nice bottle of the fizzy stuff. We’re going to Disney World, folks!

OK, maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself. I ought to work on getting it published first, don’t you think? So for the last two weeks or so, I’ve been sewing wool yarn through my eyeballs working on my query letter.

Since the real one is driving me bonkers, I thought I might have a little fun with a limerick. What do you think? I’m expecting a ton of full requests. 😉

Dear agents of best-selling writers,
The publishing world’s insiders,
I’ve written a book.
Won’t you take a look?
I’ve heard you like being inspired.

It’s got everything you could want,
Even vampire debutantes.
And I think you’ll agree,
The world needs to see
A new Odyssey set in Vermont.

My protagonist is quite unique.
She collects chewed up gum and antiques.
But by night she moonlights
As a feminine Knight,
Who battles in high heels (I think).

My friends all think that it’s great
Right up to page four thousand eight.
So if you want to get rich
Just sell me your pitch
To represent me. I’m really first rate.

So hop to it and try to call dibs.
Books like this don’t last long in this biz.
Good luck to you all!
I’ll wait for your call.
Sincerely, Where The Heart Is

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