Adventures in Pinteresting

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OK, I am not, technically speaking, Pinteresting. (Is that a word? It really should be.) I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest. Actually,  no, I have a “that could be useful to me every six months or so”/”Now I remember why I hate this so much” relationship with Pinterest.

A couple years ago, I made these “simple and easy!” snacks for my daughter’s pre-school celebration of Dr. Seuss’s birthday.

Thing1Thing2

Not bad, right? Can you tell what it is? Thing 1 and Thing 2 in little muffin cups! According to Pinterest, this little snack is cute (true) and easy to make (a vicious, vicious lie). Take a guess at how long this took me. I’ll give you some hints. There were 14 kids in my daughter’s class. I made one of these teeny little snacks for each of them. They consist of: 1 strawberry cut in half, 2 slices of mozzarella cheese stick, 2 little chocolate sprinkles for the eyes, a couple little squirts of writing icing (which I bought in one of those convenient little tubes), and 2 dollops of whipped cream cheese died blue for the hair.

What do you think? Thirty minutes? An hour if you’re slow and really taking your time? You’d think that would make sense, but you’d be wrong. At least if you were me, which you are not. Maybe you’re one of those crafty people who can whip up Thing 1 and Thing 2 strawberry people in minutes. If so, you’re lucky, and I hate you.

This snack, which would not have been enough to fill the tummy of a guinea pig, took me FIVE HOURS to make. I was up until 2 AM. How is this possible, you ask? How can it take 5 hours to slice strawberries and write on them with icing? It may have been Gremlins. Or a curse. Or perhaps just the fact that I am a person who should never, ever, look at Pinterest again.

But I have to say, Thing 1 and Thing 2 turned out a lot better than my flower eggs.

Flower eggs

The green stuff is eggs. (My kids thought it would be funny to eat green eggs. It’s that dang Dr. Seuss again.) I sliced pepper rings (and only got 2 whole slices out of each pepper. Don’t ask.) The eggs were supposed to stay inside and look like the center of the flower. Curse you, Pinterest, for making it look so easy!

At least my son’s trash truck Halloween costume turned out pretty well.

trashtruck1

I know, it’s really a recycling truck. (Shhh! I couldn’t find the logo for our city’s waste removal online.) The only problem is, I made the opening of this thing too far toward the back, so the truck is front heavy. When he puts it on, it tips so far forward that the front end drags on the ground. I managed to balance out the weight by duct-taping a water bottle inside the rear end of the truck, but now the costume is so heavy that my son won’t walk around in it. He doesn’t want to wear it trick or treating.

Well guess what, buddy. Mommy spent 5 hours cutting, taping, messing up, and fixing this trash truck. You’re going to wear it, even if I have to glue it to your shoulders!

OK, deep breaths.

Honestly, I only go on Pinterest maybe twice a year. Each time, I swear that I’ll never do it again. It’s making me crazy. Then some time passes, I start thinking, “Maybe I can make something creative today.” And I forget about the knots in my shoulders and the massive migraine from my last foray into Creative Mommy Land.

But today, I’m taking The Pledge. I will not try to be a Pinterest Mom. I will delete the app from my phone. If an idea pops into my head, I will run far, far away.

Do you have any Pinterest disasters to share? I’d love to hear from you!

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11 comments

  1. Absolutely hilarious! And, let it be known that Pinterest fails are in no way indicative of the quality of Nicole’s cooking.

    PS – I have a good mommy brain moment for you. As I was typing this comment out, I paused to consider whether I should write your name out. “Hm, does she include her name in each post’s byline? Has she said her name on a recent post? OH, FOR THE LOVE OF….IT’S IN HER WEBSITE ADDRESS!!”

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  2. I haven’t joined Pinterest yet. As an author, everyone tells me I should, but I’m already on social media enough. If I do join, I suspect I’ll back off of Facebook. Not that I use that much either.

    You are a great mom to try these things! Though your kids may not appreciate it now, you’ll have this blog post to show them when they’re older. Then they’ll not only appreciate it, they’ll have a good laugh, too. 🙂

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  3. Ha! Nothing from Pinterest ever takes less than an hour! I’ve made tons of things from that site, some turn out okay, some are disasters, but they all take waaaaay longer than you ever could have imagined.

    When I was planning my cousin’s bridal shower I wanted to hang these little strips of fabric off the back of the chairs like I saw in a Pinterest picture. Well, that seemed easy enough. I just needed to cut long, thin strips of fabric and then find away to string them together. Um, yeah, this became a two day project, and I mean a FULL two days 🙂

    I feel like recipes are like that too. I automatically double the time listed on any recipe.

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    1. I’m glad I’m not the only one, Jennifer! And I’ve made quite a few Rachael Ray 30 minute meals that really took an hour…even if it was the 20th time I made them. How does that happen? I think I’m just slow. 🙂

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    1. Don’t get me wrong, it is useful for storing ideas that you want to come back to. It’s just these excessively cutesy, crafty things that suck you in and try to kill you. They make it look so easy, but it’s really, really not. I hope you have better luck than I have!

      Liked by 1 person

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