If you’ve been following my blog regularly, you’ve already heard about some of my parenting fails. It’s really hard for me to choose which was the biggest, or most hilarious, though. Was it the time that I called my pediatrician’s office and insisted that my daughter was born on my dog’s birthday? The time I drove my kids home to the wrong house? Or got lost on the way to their school? What about the time that I woke up in the middle of the night, tore the sheets and blankets from my bed, and screamed at my husband that we had to find the baby…who was sound asleep in her crib? (And now you know why I drink.)
It’s really hard to choose! But since I’ve had so much fun writing about them, I asked some of my blogger friends to share their most hilarious parenting fails with me.
- Annette from 3 Little Buttons: Pulling a poonami filled vest over my 3 month old’s head. She ended up covered in poop from head to toe. I later found out what the envelope necks were for on the vests. Oops!
- Nicola from Mummy Wales: I once was so tired I forgot to put a nappy on my baby at bedtime. Literally just pj’s and a grobag. Luckily he didn’t do a number two but woke up in the middle of the night soaking wet and obviously I rectified the situation. I never made that mistake again! Poor baby 😕
- Amy from Mama Mighalls: My husband was out so I thought I would jump in the bath with the toddler. She decided to wee on me then poo in the bath. I scooped it out, but because I was pregnant it made me throw up. She then continued to poop on her bedroom carpet and stood in it before running off! You couldn’t make it up
- Jodi from Maidenhead Mum: I sent my daughter to school in uniform… and as we got out in the car park I realised it was non uniform to raise money for the school fete (obviously!). I had to decide which ‘mum’ to be: the one that forced her to go into school anyway… or the one that raced back home with her. I wimped out and did the latter and we managed to make it back by 9.01!
- Amy from The Smallest of Things: Oh lord I have so many! Mainly involving swear words. Like the time my 3yo shouted “shit” as a dog ran past her because she’d heard me do the same 10 minutes before 🙈
- Marc from Living Unplugged: Slamming my 1 year old’s hand in a car door one day then his little finger in the hinge side of a bathroom door the next. His fingers were a funny shape for a day. He’s fine now, by the way. Eleven years have passed and he doesn’t hold a grudge.
- Darren from UK Fun Family Days Out: 😂😂 My goodness… I’m just thinking back to all of the crazy fails! Swearing – especially in public or at inappropriate places. Getting under a fence at a stately home which had a “Do not walk on the grass sign” and running off across the forbidden ground. When I shout “Why you little ……. come back now!” She just laughs.
- Frances from Whinge Whinge Wine: Last week I took my kids to the park, and when my daughter said she didn’t need a wee I believed her. She did (she was just VERY tired). I didn’t have any spare clothes. She is almost four and had to wear one of her brother’s tiny size four nappies in the sandpit while I airdried her pissy shorts, during which time she got stung on the thigh by a wasp.
- Raimy from Readaraptor Hatchling: Haven’t many, but jeez was I embarrassed when my little girl started shouting ‘bugger, bugger, BUGGER!!!’ At a wedding last weekend. I asked her to stop, she asked why, I told her it was a naughty word and she replied with ‘mummy say it!’ 🙈 She’s only 2 and hasn’t been talking long so I’m hoping anyone within earshot thinks she was asking me to say it. But I know she meant that I say it far too often.
- Karina from Mum’s the Nerd: In the crazy newborn days when everything was a blur, we experienced our very first poonami. After throwing the soiled clothes into the washing machine, we realised that the dirty nappy was whirling around too. Not my finest moment.
- Jo-Elle from The Yorkshire Pudding: Not mine unfortunately but my husband and daughter none the less: When she was around 12 weeks old she was terrible with colic and wouldn’t sleep flat on her back, only in our arms. Hubby was doing his “shift” of “hug the baby to sleep” in her nursery Rocking Chair. He nodded off, unfortunately so did his legs. I heard an almighty bang from upstairs and came charging up to find my husband flat on his face on the floor, with our child raised above his head soundly asleep! His legs had gone dead from being in the same position for so long and when he’d woken to put her in her cot, he stood up but his legs weren’t functioning. He managed to save the baby, and kept her asleep, whilst sacrificing his entire body to the carpet! I swear I have never silently laughed so hard in my life!
- Adele from Our Family Life: My 12 year old daughter went over on her ankle while playing out. She came back in limping saying it hurt so much. I said ‘Oh it’ll be fine, just walk it off’. Next morning I said ‘Come on you can go to school’. When I looked it had swollen up so I took her to the hospital and after an X-ray, I was told it was fractured and she had to wear a protective boot for about 4 weeks…oops, bad mum!
- Georgina from Gee Gardner: World Book Day this year I sent my daughter in as Horrid Henry, messy backcombed hair, sprayed in place to within an inch of it’s life, handmade crochet jumper, the lot. Took some awesome photos and hyped her up so much and she was so excited it was unreal! Except it wasn’t bloody World Book Day. We were a day early.
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