Diary of a Discerning Dog
My dear readers and co-conspirators,
This is week two of my quest to convince my family to adopt a new puppy, and I have gotten nowhere. I am beginning to think it will never happen.
I promise I will be a good puppy sister. Just look at how I take care of the small crazy ones. This is me guarding the screwy one while he sleeps on the floor for no reason whatsoever. (There is a perfectly good bed in his room. Honestly, I would be no less of a guard dog with a comfortable place to sleep. But I digress.)
I have compiled a list of reasons why I need a new puppy. I would be ever so grateful if you would echo them loudly to my family.
- You people walk way too much. I am eleven years old, and my knees are not what they used to be. (I am told this is a phrase old humans use a lot. What in the world did their knees used to be? Mine have always been knees.) If we had another puppy, he could share in the walking duties, and perhaps even pick up most of the slack. He will be a puppy, after all.
- I could use a little help catching the squirrels who run through our back yard. They are too fast! All I want is to chase and play with them, but whenever I go outside, they run straight up a tree, which I think you will agree is quite unsporting. They seem to think I am some sort of malignant spirit from the underworld intent on destroying them. Or perhaps a cat. Either way, an evil being of some kind. If we had another dog, we could create a plan to head off the squirrels, or box them in. I have several schematics drawn out already. All I need is a partner.
- You all love to snuggle me, but there are six of you and one of me. You see where I am going with this. The new puppy is really for your benefit. I am an altruistic dog.
I would love to write more, but it is time for me to sleep in my sunbeam. If you have thoughts on more reasons why my family needs a new puppy, please share them. I could use all the help I can get. My deepest thanks.
Enjoyed this post? Please vote for my blog every time you visit! Lucy will send you virtual puppy kisses if you do!