Pocket-Sized Terrors: How your new baby will scare the living s*!@ out of you

  If you are expecting your first baby, congratulations! You are about to embark on the most awesome, emotionally overwhelming, and piss-your-pants surprising journey of your life. (Literally. You will most likely piss your pants at least once. I hope you've been doing your kegels.) It may sound like I'm trying to discourage you. (Too … Continue reading Pocket-Sized Terrors: How your new baby will scare the living s*!@ out of you

13 Random Things I Had on My Mind Today

  If you'd like to enter the dark and disorganized corners of my brain, please read on. I can't promise that you'll make it out quickly, though. Well, you probably will. It's only 13 things. What time does the liquor store close? "Birfdays was the worst days. Now we drink champagne when we thirstay!" (Just … Continue reading 13 Random Things I Had on My Mind Today

Ode to Nap Time: A Limerick

There once was a mom with four kids, And momming was all that she did. She wanted to write, like she used to at night, But the baby never shut his eyelids. All through the summer she played At the pool for days upon days. She soaked up the sun (and SPF fifty-one! Don't worry, the baby … Continue reading Ode to Nap Time: A Limerick

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