where the heart is

7 Children’s TV Characters Who Will Probably Grow Up to Be Degenerates

Hopefully, all of your children can name at least 1 character from a book, movie, or television show whom they absolutely adore. These are your Nemos, your Boo Boos, your Harry Potters. All of the 101 Dalmatians.

You can’t help but root for these guys. They’re so earnest and good natured. Your kids love them. You love them. Everyone’s happy.

The characters in this list, however, are none of those things.

Grocery Shopping with Kids: A Tale of Two Ladies

The other day, I took my 2 boys grocery shopping at Aldi. The second we got in the car, R announced, “I don’t want to go to Aldi!”

“Sorry, Bud,” I said. “We have to.”

“Nooooo!” he wailed from the back seat. I simply drove.

When we arrived at Aldi, I grabbed my purse and my shopping bags, pulled the baby from his car seat, and stood by the open van door waiting on R. “Come on, Buddy. Let’s go.”

“I’m not going!”

“You have to,” I said.

“No I don’t!”

“Fine. Come on in when you’re ready.” A power struggle with a 5-year-old isn’t really my thing, so I walked off toward the store. And just like I knew he would, R followed me. (At a distance. He had to save face, obvs.)

How to Fold a Shirt, in 13 Easy Steps

I bet you thought you already knew how to fold a shirt. I did too! It wasn’t until I assigned the task to my 8-year-old that I learned I’d been doing it ALL WRONG. You see, I’d thought the thing to do to get the task going was to, you know, pick up a shirt. (Or something along those lines. I’m still working it out in my head.)

But no. As I learned today, there are many, many more steps involved before any part of your human flesh can actually touch the laundry. 

So, here they are, the 13 steps to folding a shirt, according to my 8-year-old daughter: