My New Year’s Resolutions

It’s that time of year again! After a long holiday season of celebrations and indulging in way too much good food and libations, we take down the tree, pack up the decorations, and spend a week checking the dog’s poop for that roll of tape we lost on Christmas Eve.

Oh, and resolutions! I’m pretty inconsistent with the making of the resolutions part. Some years, I don’t make any at all. Some  years, I forget about it until mid-January and then write down a token list of ideas just so I can say I did it. But the keeping part of it–for that I’m nothing if not consistent. You could set your watch by me. I have never kept a resolution past March in my life.

But you never know. This could be my year! Just in case, I’ve written a few goals for me to keep or not keep.

1. Continue filling the blogosphere with witty banter every week. (Because I know you all couldn’t live without me!)
2. Finally figure out the lyrics to Smells Like Teen Spirit.
3. Learn to speak Korean so I’ll know if the ladies at the nail salon are gossiping about me and my grossly-calloused feet.
4. When people look at my family in shock and ask if I’m planning to have more children, come up with a more polite answer than, “Is your mom going to have any more children?”
5. Speaking of which, I think my next goal should be: Do not give birth to any new children this year. (I know what you’re thinking! If I can just keep myself un-pregnant until April, this goal should be in the bag. But I’d like to think of myself as somewhat of an over-achiever in this category. Why don’t we stretch the un-pregnancy out a little more?)
6. Create more opportunities to shout “Boo yah!” during arguments.
7. Spend way less time cleaning up other people’s poop. Amiright, ladies?
8. Convince Donald Trump that he’s desperately needed to lead the first human colony on Mars. (You’re welcome, Earth!)

OK, it’s possible that at least one of those goals may be unachievable by me alone. I mean, what mother of 4 has time to study a new language?

Do you have any resolutions for the new year? I’d love to hear from you!